| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
 Math Problem Goes
Viral, Stumps Millions
Those who can solve it saw dress as gold
and white, cat as Einstein. |
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| TECHNOLOGY |
|
 Upgraded Atomic Clock Now
Accurate for 15 Billion Years
After 15 billion years it will need to be reset. |
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| LAW |
|
New York Court Recognizes
Chimps as “Legal Humans”
Agrees with their signing gorilla attorney. |
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| SPORTS |
|
Baseball Trying to Convince Players
to Stop Using Chewing Tobacco
And to scratch above the waist. |
|
 Pro Medieval Fighting
Gains in Popularity
Although “fight to the death”
rule has limited its growth. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| What is “Operation Fearless Guardian”? |
| A ) | Latest TV show celebrating
the criminal behavior of counter-terrorist police in the U.S. |
| B ) | Winner of the Pentagon's
Annual Best Name for a Military Intervention Contest. |
| C ) | Secret code name for CIA
attempt to place spy satellites in space. |
| D ) | Name approved by the
High Council of Mars for operation to encircle Earth with defensive
UFO’s loaded with Death Rays. |
| E ) | Name of our latest effort to
sink into a military quagmire in Eastern Europe. |
| Hint: could be the best news Putin has heard in months. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Google Street View
Captures Loch Ness Monster
Which asks for it to be removed. |
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