PEOPLE |
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Pat Robertson Reveals He Has a
“Gay-Repelling” Necklace
Wears it every year to the Tonys. |
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ENTERTAINMENT |
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“Sharknado 3” to Feature
Mark Cuban, Ann Coulter as
President, Vice-President
Turns concept of tornado filled with sharks
into something reasonable by comparison. |
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Ringling Bros. to Stop Using
Elephants in Circus
Move called “job killer” by clowns with shovels. |
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BUSINESS |
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Swiss Watchmakers Wait
Warily for Apple's New Watch
Apple could put them out of business,
then hide its profits in Swiss banks. |
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CONSUMER NEWS |
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FTC Fines Robo Callers Who
Called People on Do Not Call
List $7.73 Million
Robo callers on Do Not Fine list, won’t have to pay. |
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SCIENCE |
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New Lockheed Laser Weapon Can
Stop Small Truck From a Mile Away
Simultaneously melting every ice
cream bar, push pop in truck. |
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2.8 Million-Year-Old Jawbone of
First Human Discovered in Ethiopia
He was missing a rib and eating an apple. |
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HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Daylight Saving Time May Cause
Heart Attack Spike
Ask your cardiologist if turning the clock
ahead is right for you. |
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McDonald’s to Stop Using Chicken
Raised With Antibiotics
And switch to organic pink slime. |
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Finnish Study: Sweating
Profusely in Super-Heated Room
May Help Men Live Longer
But makes long-term relationships difficult. |
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FACTOID |
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10% of Los Angeles Voters Turn
Out for City Council Election
90% voted for Best Picture. |
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