| ART |
 |
 Recently Discovered
Bronze Sculptures Possibly by Michelangelo
Or a 3D printer. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
Next Super Bowl to Be All
Commercials, With 30-Second
Spots of Game Highlights
During which viewers can go to the bathroom. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Wells Fargo Bank Tracks
Employees' “Happy-To-
Grumpy” Ratios
Guess who is fired. |
|
 Mattel’s
CEO Resigns as Company’s
Sales Slide
Interim CEO moves to boost Barbie sales
by adding body piercing, tattoos. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Study: Cockroaches Have Personalities
And a dry sense of humor. |
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Astronomers Forced to Backtrack on
Recent Discovery of Cosmic Inflation,
Finding at Least 40% of Signal Was Dust
from Keck Array Telescope
The janitor’s been fired. |
| |
 Study:
Chimps Learn New Language
When They Change Locale
Unlike humans. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study: Organ Donation Has
Added 2,270,859 Years to
Americans' Lives Since 1987
So check that box on your driver's license,
you never know when a drunk driver will
make you a donor candidate. |
|
Study: Conservatives Die
Sooner Than Liberals
Usually from gout. |
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