| POLITICS |
 |
 |
Urban Outfitters
Selling Hillary Nutcrackers
Basically conceding the election to her. |
|
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Ku Klux Klan Chapter Opens its Doors to
Hispanics, Blacks, Jews, Gays
And to all people who hate them. |
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
|
Revealed: Chinese Hacked Into U.S.
Weather Systems in October
Explains all that smog, and Al Roker's
foreign accent. |
| |
| RELIGION |
|
New Theory: Jesus Was
Married, Had Children
And a dog. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
World Cup Scandal Report Accuses Top
FIFA Officials of Massive Corruption
Or, in FIFA officials' summation of
report, clears them of any wrongdoing. |
|
 |
| Australia is hosting the G-20 Summit,
but Australians are intensely
embarrassed about it because: |
| A ) | Their premier, Tony
Abbott, only opens his mouth to change feet. |
| B ) | Australia is so far
away from everywhere else that other countries tend to forget
it's there. |
| C ) | "Throw another
shrimp on the barbie, Mate!" |
| D ) | The most famous
Australians are Kanga and Roo. |
| Hint: And they didn't even live in Australia. |
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| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
Latest Guinness
World Records Announced |
| |
 |
| |
Shown (l to r): world's shortest, tallest, biggest. |
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