| NEW PRODUCTS |
 |
 “Smart Shirt”
Monitors Your Vital Signs
If it senses a problem, a message is
sent to your nurse's bra. |
|
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Two-Thirds of Millionaires Favor
Boosting Minimum Wage
Thereby eliminating the need for gratuities. |
|
Neuropsychologist: Humans
Not Smart Enough to Deal
With Extraterrestrials
Says we should kill them all, let God sort
them out. |
| |
| FACTOID |
|
Top 25 Hedge Funds Earned More in 2013
Than Combined Earnings of All Kindergarten Teachers
in U.S.
From a study conducted by the WTF Foundation. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
 Putin's Amateur
Hockey Team Wins Again
They defeat Russia's Olympic team, 14-0. |
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| Which of the following
“judgement words” did General Motors tell its
engineers to avoid using when identifying product risks? |
deathtrap
powder keg
grenadelike
you're toast
Hindenburg
Titanic
rolling sarcophagus
genocide |
|
| |
A ) |
None of them. |
| |
B ) |
Just “you're toast” and “genocide.” |
| |
C ) |
All of them. |
| Hint: That's just a partial list. |
|
|
|
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Pope Francis Says
He'd Baptize Martians
But draws the line at washing their feet (if
they have feet). |
|
|
