| PEOPLE |
 |
 Kanye West
Performs at Kazakhstan Dictator's Grandson's
Wedding
It's believed he received monetary compensation. |
|
| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
Disney World Announces Air-
Conditioned Waiting Areas
Where Kids Can Play on Slides
While Waiting With Their
Parents to Go on Rides
Say idea inspired by Purgatory. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Dow Jones Average: Nike, Goldman
Sachs, Visa Replace BofA, Alcoa, HP
Who are sent down to minors. |
|
Airlines Made $27 Billion in Fees,
Non-Fare Revenue Last Year
No need to sell tickets. |
|
 Twitter Tweets
Intention to File for IPO
Shares will be sold to first 50 million clever quips. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Voyager I Becomes First Manmade
Object to Leave Solar System
Expected to eventually plant seed for
infinite number of civilizations that
worship either Chuck Berry or Carl Sagan. |
|
Study: Gold Comes From Colliding Dead Stars
But more commonly, from deceased relatives. |
|
Researchers: Men Yield to
Temptation Due to “Intensity
Of Their Sexual Impulses”
“No clue” what makes women yield. |
| |
 Recent Excavations
at Stonehenge Show Site Had Nothing
to Do With Sun Worship
It was simply a dump for large stones. |
|
|
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Companies Offering E-Cigarettes
in Cotton Candy, Bubble Gum, Atomic
Fireball Flavors
To appeal to adults. |
|
