Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 2 - 8, 2013
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TECHNOLOGY
New Car Suspension Generates Power From Bumps, Curves
Every pothole, swerve saves money.
GM Says Almost-Driverless Cars Coming in 2020
They'll be voice-controlled by passenger in back seat.
Facebook Says it Gave Governments 38,000 Users’ Data in First 6 Months of 2013
In first 6 minutes after announcement, 38,000 Facebook users unfriend Facebook.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Allstate Insurance Ranks Washington, D.C. Drivers Worst in Nation
Lawmakers routinely ignore laws.
 
SPORTS
Unpaid Laborers Begin Raising Billions for Their Wealthy Masters
College football's back.
Russia: Winter Olympics Organizers Fear There Won't Be Enough Snow
Or graft.
LIFESTYLE
Burning Man Hosts 68,000 Artists, Poets, Visionaries, Adventurers, Free Spirits
In other words: unemployed hipsters.
 
LAW
Justice Dept. Won't Challenge States' Marijuana Laws
Sources credit effective lobbying by Choom Gang.
 
LEXICOLOGY
Oxford English Dictionary Adds “Twerk,” “Selfies” and “Vom”
Removes “linguist,” “spinning” and “grave.”
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Women Protest Across the Globe August 25th on Go Topless Day
And you missed that?

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