| PEOPLE |
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Chuck Norris: Obama
Reelection Will Bring 1,000 Years Of Darkness
Although he personally doesn't vote. |
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Ryan Begins Intense Debate Preparations
Playing role of Biden will be Joe Pesci. |
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| MEDIA |
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Convention Ratings: Dems Top GOP
Although, despite being carried on
all major broadcast networks and cable news
channels, both parties' extravaganzas
finish second to Here Comes Honey Boo
Boo. |
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| BUSINESS |
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India: McDonald's
Opens First Vegan Restaurant
Did somebody say Burger King? |
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| SCIENCE |
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Study: Monkeys Put on Extremely
Low-Calorie Diet Don't Live Any Longer
According to researchers at Frito-Lay. |
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Chinese
Scientists Unveil Mind- Controlled Drone
Could aid voyeurs, Peeping Toms, even
the military. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study: Organic Foods No More
Nutritious Than Non-Organic
But slightly less likely to kill you. |
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High Stress of Urban Living Leads to
Mood, Anxiety Disorders
You got a problem with that? |
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| LIFESTYLE |
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Study: Children Involved in Group Music
Activities More Likely to Develop Empathy
Their parents more likely to generate
sympathy. |
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