Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 10 - 16, 2012
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PEOPLE
Chuck Norris: Obama Reelection Will Bring “1,000 Years Of Darkness”
Although he personally doesn't vote.
Ryan Begins Intense Debate Preparations
Playing role of Biden will be Joe Pesci.
 
MEDIA
  Convention Ratings: Dems Top GOP
Although, despite being carried on all major broadcast networks and cable news channels, both parties' extravaganzas finish second to “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.”
 
BUSINESS
India: McDonald's Opens First Vegan Restaurant
Did somebody say Burger King?
SCIENCE
Study: Monkeys Put on Extremely Low-Calorie Diet Don't Live Any Longer
According to researchers at Frito-Lay.
 
Chinese Scientists Unveil Mind- Controlled Drone
Could aid voyeurs, Peeping Toms, even the military.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Organic Foods No More Nutritious Than Non-Organic
But slightly less likely to kill you.
High Stress of Urban Living Leads to Mood, Anxiety Disorders
You got a problem with that?
 
LIFESTYLE
Study: Children Involved in Group Music Activities More Likely to Develop Empathy
Their parents more likely to generate sympathy.

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