| PEOPLE |
 |
 Germany's
Merkel Won't Change Mind on
Austerity Measures
Says she just signed a three-year lease
on a Volkswagen. |
|
|
After Criticism, Michelle Bachmann
Renounces Swiss Citizenship
Which she got last week for the health care. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
Record Earnings for the Fortune 500
And the fortunate five hundred CEOs who run them. |
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Latest Bank Scandal Bringing
More Calls for Regulation
Or at least a congressional panel ten people
will watch on C-SPAN. |
|
 Oops: JPMorgan
Chase Admits Trading Risky
Derivatives Again, With Huge Losses
But promises, “I swear, baby, I'll never do
it again.” |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Study: People Told They Were
Drinking $90 Wine Enjoyed
It More Than Same Wine
They Were Told Was $10
Until they were told to pay for it. |
|
New Theory: Dinosaurs Wiped
Out by Own Flatulence
The embarrassment alone would have been enough. |
| |
 Baboons
Learn to Distinguish Words Like
Vast and Done From Non-Words Like
Telk and Virt
Telk that in your virt and smoke it. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Study: For Each Hour of Sleep Less Than
You Should Be Getting, You’re One Third
More Likely to be Fat
One more reason not to get up early to
exercise. |
|
Study: Hands-Free Faucets
Have More Bacteria
Public urged not to wash hands until
further notice. |
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