| NEW PRODUCTS |
| |
 New
Machine Liquifies Your Remains
for Easy Disposal
And makes smoothies, too. |
|
| |
 Combination
USB Drive/Vibrator Debuts
Not recommended for business
meetings. |
|
| |
 New
Personal 3-D Viewers Allow You to
See Everything in 3-D!
Special cameras monitor
everything you look at,
projecting it on a tiny screen
inside the viewer. So realistic,
you'll swear you're not looking
through a viewer. $1500 at I Can
Already Do That. |
|
| |
| ENVIRONMENT |
 |
Bad News: Lake Michigan Now
Contains 900 Trillion Invasive
Quagga Mussels
Good news: goes great with linguini. |
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| The Consumer Energy
Alliance is composed of: |
| A ) | Consumers
seeking lower energy costs. |
| B ) | Consumers
wanting to be more energetic. |
| C ) | Martians
wanting more energy. |
| D ) | Oil and gas
company lobbyists seeking
tax breaks for the oil and gas industry. |
| Hint: Mars
already has enough
energy. |
|
|
|
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
 Site
of King Arthur's Round Table
Purportedly Found
By out-of-work producer for
History Channel. |
|
|
