| PEOPLE |
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Bill Gates No
Longer World's Richest
Man After Giving Billions
to Charity
"What a loser,"
says Carlos Slim. |
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Gingrich Blames His Love
Of Country for Past Affairs
Assures current wife he'll keep his
patriotism in his pants. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
Charlie Sheen Reaches 2
Million
Twitter Followers
Among them one million CBS lawyers. |
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| MEDIA |
|
Revealed: Many Callers to
Morning Radio Shows Actors
Also: hosts phonies, listeners idiots. |
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Fox News Suspends Potential
Candidates Newt Gingrich,
Rick Santorum
To preserve its record of balance,
fairness. |
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| BUSINESS |
|
 Starbucks
Unveils New Logo
Removing name
“Starbucks” in latest
design meant to appeal to people
who hate Starbucks. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
New Theory Sees Humans
Getting Shorter, Fatter
And more adorable by the day. |
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Elephants Prove Equal to
Chimps, Dolphins in Intelligence
On “Animal Kingdom Jeopardy.” |
| |
 Evidence
Found That Europeans Used
Magic Mushrooms 6000
Years Ago
Cave drawing depicts man
being mauled by bull
after stiffing his
dealer. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study: England Still Healthier
Than U.S.
Country with national diet of fat, starch
still in better shape than us. |
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| CORRECTION |
| |
| Last week, in our story about
her first visit to New Hampshire, we quoted Rep. Michele
Bachmann (R-MN) as saying she was thrilled to be in
"the state where the shot was heard round the world at
Lexington and Concord." We neglected to point out
she is from a state a long way from these historic events
and can't be expected to know their exact locations.
Our apologies. |
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