| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Competition
Heats Up at U.S. Air
Guitar National Finals
Winner receives free
guitar lessons. |
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| PEOPLE |
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Sarah Palin Coins Word
“Refudiate”
Meaning, “to make a falsehood true
by putting it in the refrigerator.” |
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| MEDIA |
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Al Qaeda to Build Mosque
At Ground Zero
According to Fox News. |
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| BUSINESS |
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Jobless Reap Windfall as
Congress Extends Unemployment Benefits
They laugh condescendingly at working stiffs with regular
good-paying jobs with health plans and pensions and a
chance for advancement and lifetime security who aren't
eligible to receive such government largess. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Archeologists Discover
Circular
Structure Next to Stonehenge
Believe it was Stonehenge Gift Shoppe. |
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 14,000-Year-Old
“Woman of the Palms”
Evidence That People Migrated to
Mexico From Diverse Areas
Mostly on spring break. |
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Stone Age
Carving May Be Ancient
Sex Toy
If experienced
archeologist's wild hunch
is correct. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Marijuana Use by Old People Rises
Widespread reports of grandparents eating
cookies meant for grandchildren. |
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Simple Device Combats Vertigo
Tells user, “Don’t go up
there.” |
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