| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
National
Zoo's Panda Sent to China
to Be Bred
And reeducated. |
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|
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
|
Mussolini iPhone App a Hit in
Italy
Tells you when trains running on time. |
| |
| FACTOID |
|
Average American Male Has
Gained 17 Pounds Since 1988
But it's all muscle. |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
 NCAA
Uncovers More Recruiting
Violations
Coach Mike “Stretch”
McNulty (left) of South Virginia
State accused of illegal payments
to 18-year-old phenom Yang Tao
(right). |
|
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| FEATURE |
 |
| Sen. Saxby Chambliss
(R-GA) opposes repealing
“Don't Ask, Don't
Tell” because: |
| A ) | it would lead
to alcohol use. |
| B ) | it would lead
to adultery. |
| C ) | it would lead
to fraternization. |
| D ) | it would lead
to body art. |
| E ) | all of the
above. |
| Hint: If you
spot a drunk tattooed
homosexual soldier having
sex with Gen. McChrystal's wife, don't
blame Saxby Chambliss. |
|
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|
| |
| CONSUMER NEWS |
|
Amish Recall
43,000 Buggies
Following reports of
sudden acceleration. |
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