| PEOPLE |
 |
 |
Octuplets'
Mom Pregnant Again
Tells reporters,
“Kids happen.” |
|
 |
 Sen.
Mitch McConnell: New
Deal Didn’t Work
And Nazis won World War II. |
|
| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
More Drop Cable, Watch TV on
Internet
Some drop Internet, watch TV in corner
bar. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
GM Lays Off Another 10,000
Mostly in Planned Obsolescence division. |
|
Muzak Files for Bankruptcy
News greeted with celebrations around
globe. |
|
 Starbucks
to Sell Instant Coffee
And kick customers out after
three minutes. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Prediction: TVs in Contact
Lenses Within Ten Years
So you can watch commercials wherever you
are. |
|
Study Shows Dogs Have
Sense of Fairness
Object to sales tax on pet food; deem
leash laws oppressive. |
| |
 Hadron
Collider to Restart in September
Good time to get your affairs in order. |
|
|
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Teens More Likely to Be
Depressed if They Watch TV
Even more depressed if they watch “American
Idol.” |
|
Study: Fatter Twin Looks Younger
So go ahead, have another doughnut. |
|
Study: Mediterranean Diet May
Prevent Mental Decline
Conclusion based on repeated viewings
of Zorba the Greek. |
|
