| PEOPLE |
 |
 |
French First Lady Carla Bruni Wins Damages
For Nude Handbags
(Right) Speaking to reporters
outside courthouse. |
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Ed McMahon Won’t Leave
Foreclosed Home
Expects to win Publisher’s Clearing
House sweepstakes. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
French Court Allows Les
Miserables Sequels
Green light for Les Very Miserables,
Les Completely Miserables and Les
Totally Miserables. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Few Startups in This Gloomy
Economy
And yet, Apple Mary Industries raises $40
million in initial public offering. |
|
 Flame,
New Men's Cologne by Burger
King Joins Crowded Field
Must compete with Grilled by
Wendy's, Fried by McDonald's
and Steamed by White Castle. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Scores of New Species
Discovered in Greater Mekong Delta
All of them scrumptious. |
|
NASA: 2 Trillion Tons of Ice
Melted Since 2003
Global warming skeptics blame polar bear
flatulence. |
| |
| |
 Ancient Art Shows
Women Were Style-Conscious 7,500 Years Ago
Said they had “nothing to wear”
before they had clothes. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Study: Canadians Healthier Than Americans
But Canadians must suffer under the yoke
of socialized medicine. |
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Sarcasm Used to Detect Dementia
Yeah, right. |
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| CORRECTION |
| |
| Last week, replying to a letter
from an eight-year-old girl who wanted to know if there
really is a Santa Claus, we wrote, “No, Veronica, there
is no Santa Claus, just a jovial mascot used mostly to
promote commercial products.” The girl's name is
Virginia. We apologize for the error. |
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