| PEOPLE |
 |
 O.J. Arrested After
Las Vegas Break-In
Says he's innocent but will write book
hypothesizing how he would have committed crime. |
|
|
Revealed: MI5 Spied on George
Orwell for 10 Years
Agency now demands percentage of profits
from 1984. |
| |
| ENTERTAINMENT |
|
 Air Guitar
Champion Receives
MacArthur Genius Grant
Allows him to perfect his
art without taking a job
at Burger King. |
|
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
 Lamborghini
Unveils $1.4 Million Car
Now's the time to buy,
say dealers, with 0%
financing and generous
trade-ins. |
|
|
|
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Americans Living Longer
According to study by American
Association of Heirs and Heiresses. |
|
Study: Altruism, Sex Activate Same
Pleasure Center in Brain
Public advised to tip well when paying for sex. |
| |
| |
 Study:
Higher Gas Prices Result
in Slimmer Americans
We'll drive to
closest fast food
restaurant even though
there's one a few miles
further away with bigger
portions. |
|
|
| |
| SCIENCE |
|
New Theory: DNA Formed in
Space,
Then “Sprinkled” on Earth
By chance, God, aliens, or Tinkerbell. |
|
Discovery: Neanderthals Used
Small
Sticks to Clean Their Teeth
But homo sapiens came up with floss. |
|
Doubt Cast on Age of Robe of
St. Francis of Assisi by Carbon Dating
Also by “Clearance Sale, 30%
Off” tag. |
|
