| NEW PRODUCTS |
 |
Toys of Future Introduced at
New Toy Expo |
| |
 |
| |
Among those drawing the curious (from
left to right): a round rubber sphere
that can be “bounced, rolled or even
thrown back and forth with a
friend”; colorful elongated plastic
needles you drop and pick up for
“endless fun”; a smaller rubber
sphere and a handful of futuristic metal
objects in “the ultimate game of
multi-tasking.” |
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
New Mexico Places Talking
Urinal
Cakes in Bars, Restaurants
Patrons hear messages like, “Don't
forget to flush,” “Don't forget
to wash your hands” and “Don't
forget to zip your fly.” |
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Spring Training: Outlook
Dim for All 30 Teams
None can reach postseason, at
least on paper. |
|
 Barry Bonds Signs, Seems
Certain to Break Aaron's Mark
Unless he becomes allergic to needles. |
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| Timothy McVeigh,
who blew up the federal
building in Oklahoma City
and hoped to start a
revolution in the U.S.,
was dealt with: |
| A ) | By
the President of the
United States throwing
the Constitution into the
toilet, suspending habeas
corpus, using torture on
U.S. citizens and
citizens of other
countries, and invading a
country which had nothing
to do with the Oklahoma
City bombing, thereby
igniting a catastrophic
civil war. |
| B ) | By
the TransGalactic Strike
Force, using the Uniform
code of Interplanetary
Justice. |
| C ) | By
local, state and federal
police and their justice
systems, using laws
available at the time. |
| Hint: it's the
least exciting option. |
|
|
|
| |
| MILESTONES |
|
Co-Inventor of TV Remote Dies
From lack of exercise. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
|
Scalia’s Daughter
Charged With DUI
Says she's prepared to take her case
“all the way to the Supreme
Court.” |
|
