Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 5 - 11, 2006
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Japanese Acoustics Expert Determines How Mona Lisa Would Have Sounded
Like Nat King Cole, he says.
As Bonds Approaches Aaron's
Mark, Public is Split

Half want him to break record, half want Aaron to come out of retirement, take steroids and hit fifty more.
England: Hooligans Picked to Attend
World Cup in Germany

Many veterans will go, along with some newcomers.
Write Your Own News Story! Just fill in
the blanks on this News Template:

___ indictments were handed down today. including ___ prominent state and city officials, accused of accepting $___,___ in bribes in connection with awarding contracts for building _______. According to reports, the competitive bidding process was ignored and contracts awarded to the ____ company, which had no previous experience building _______s. Instead, the deciding factor was a series of trips, gifts and cash showered on the officials and poured into their campaign funds by ______, a consultant to the _____ company. When pressed for comment, ____ a company spokesman said the company is completely innocent, then added, "Everybody does it."
In 2005, after an exhaustive reform of the Saudi public school curriculum, the Saudi government announced, “We have removed materials that are inciteful or intolerant towards people of other faiths.” Can you guess which of the following are still in Saudi pubic school textbooks?
A ) (1st grade) “Every religion other than Islam is false.”
B ) (8th grade) “The apes are Jews, the people of the Sabbath; while the swine are the Christians, the infidels of the communion of Jesus.”
C ) (9th grade) “It is part of God's wisdom that the struggle between the Muslim and the Jews should continue until the hour [of judgment]. Muslims will triumph because they are right.”
D ) (12th grade) “Jihad is the path of God.”
E ) All of the above, and many more.
Hint: What is reasonable to one person may appear intolerant to the ape, the swine or the infidel.
New York: Move Afoot to Allow Swimming in Hudson River
By the living.

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