| POLITICS |
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California: Beatty, Reiner
Test Unfavorably Against Arnold in Latest
Voter Survey |
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 |
| |
Most have negative impression of
“cold-blooded gangster,”
“slovenly son-in-law” versus
“that nice kindergarten cop.” |
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| RELIGION |
|
 Nepalese Boy
Hailed As Reincarnation
Of Buddha
Returned into earthly
body after 2,500 years in
Nirvana to experience
Xbox 360, iPod, HDTV. |
|
|
Report: 10% of All St. John's
Seminary Graduates Accused of Molesting
Minors
Suspicion focusing on school's Department
of Pedophilia. |
| |
| ENVIRONMENT |
|
Latest Report: Global Warming
A Lot Worse Than Feared
Replaces previous report that global
warming was a lot worse than feared. |
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| FEATURE |
 |
| To prove that the
United States does not
use torture, despite an
announced policy which
allows it and
overwhelming evidence
that we're using it,
Bush, Cheney, McClellan
and now CIA head Porter
Goss have: |
| A ) | repeated
the mantra “we do
not torture” over
and over and over again. |
| B ) | threatened
to subject critics to the
interrogation techniques
we're using to extract
information from
prisoners. |
| C ) | offered
to personally undergo
those techniques
themselves. |
| Hint: The answer
isn't the one you'd like
it to be. |
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| EDUCATION |
|
Florida
Teacher Who Had Sex With
14-Year-Old Student Loses
Her Teaching Credential
Named Teacher of the Year
by Penthouse. |
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