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REPUBLICANS
SPLIT OVER COURT
NOMINEE MIERS
Half call her inexperienced hack with no
paper trail, half call her political
crony; all will vote for her. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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European Satellite Designed
To Measure Global Warming
Crashes
Reports it was shot down by U.S. denied. |
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Al Qaeda Posts Help Wanted
Ads on Websites
Looking for “evil men” willing
to embrace “ideology of hate.” |
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Beer Consumption Down at
Oktoberfest
Although official counters admit losing
track. |
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ART |
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Duchamp's
Urinal Acquired For $3.4
Million
By the Pentagon. |
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U. S. NEWS |
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Democrats Cautious, Waiting
For Bush to Make a Mistake
Party leaders agree: “Sooner or later he's bound to slip
up.” |
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House Approves Overhaul of
Endangered Species Act
Bans lifted on hunting bald eagles,
condors; limited panda trapping to be
allowed. |
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REMINDER
Things are
working out very well
for you. |
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Goss: Nobody at CIA Will Be Disciplined
for 9/11 Intelligence Failures
Move takes agency by surprise. |
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MISCELLANEOUS |
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Dictionary Adds “bikini wax,”
“brain freeze,” “chick flick,”
“hazmat,” “Wi-Fi”
Drops “wax paper,” “arms
freeze,” “tearjerker,”
“goo,” “human
contact.” |
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Sexual Theme Park Planned
For London
Attractions include Lady Godiva's Wild Ride,
Kama Sutra Mountain, petting zoo. |
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