| POLITICS |
 |
 Bush Backs
Off on Social Security,
Apologizes for Iraq
“Lies,” Admits
Past Cocaine Use
Also admits shirking National Guard duty in
annual April Fool's Day Address. |
|
| |
| SPORTS |
|
Baseball Season Starts With
Much Stricter Steroid Testing
Opening day scores: Yanks 1, Red Sox 0
(10 innings); Dodgers 1, Braves 0 (14
innings); Pirates 1, Mets 0 (19 innings);
White Sox 1, Angels 0 (23 innings); Cards
0, Astros 0 (suspended, curfew). |
|
Commercials to Employ Split
Screen On Weekly Broadcast
While ads run, other part of screen will
show Major League Soccer game. |
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
 Visiting
Circus Elephants
Depressed by New York
Visit
Find humans living in
small, confined spaces,
with little hope of
escape. |
|
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| In an effort to
cut government waste, the
Bush Administration has
launched an initiative to
cut off Medicare funding
for which one of these
groups? |
| A ) | Men
with erectile
dysfunction. |
| B ) | Women
needing cosmetic surgery. |
| C ) | Seniors
in the top 1% of income earners. |
| D ) | Children
hospitalized for severe mental
illness. |
| (Remember, you may
choose only one.) |
|
| Egyptian
leader Hosni Mubarak
recently called for democracy
in his country by asking
that opponents be allowed
to run against him. These
opponents would be: |
| A ) | Approved
by an opposition party. |
| B ) | Approved
by a coalition
representing majority
parties on nearby
planets. |
| C ) | Approved
by Mubarak's party. |
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