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PUTIN OPENS NEW
YORK STOCK EXCHANGE
Buys Halliburton,
Bechtel, sells everything
else. |
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WORLD NEWS |
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Mideast Road Map at
Crossroads
Running out of metaphors. |
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Components of Nuclear Bomb
Discovered in Iraq
Depleted uranium from spent U.S.
artillery shells could make a formidable
weapon. |
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Nigeria's Economy
Booming
Due to hugely profitable e-mail
solicitations. |
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Rice: More Foreign Troops
Likely in Iraq
Does not specify whose side they'll be
on. |
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MISCELLANEOUS |
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State
Department's Hi
Magazine Hopes to Appeal
to Arab Youth
Current issue's
articles include: “Drive
a Cab, Not a Bomb,”
“How to Become a
Well-Paid Informer,”
and “Shaving Tips.” |
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U. S. NEWS |
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Segways Recalled
Thousands stranded. |
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Administration Asks France
for Military, Financial Aid in Iraq
In return, will put “French
Fries” back on menu in congressional
cafeteria. |
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California Bans All
Unsolicited E-Mail
Critics say move severely limits
public's access to information about
penile enlargement. |
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REMINDER
Life is a sitcom without the
laugh track. |
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Schwarzenegger Makes Pitch
To Women
Says he likes smart chicks who know their
place. |
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ENVIRONMENT |
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Despite Ability To Walk, Snakehead
Fish Found in Wisconsin Did Not
Walk There
Hitchhiked from Maryland. |
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TRENDS |
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First Yoga Championship
Held in Los Angeles
Winner advances to quarter-finals of
Meditation Bowl next month in Sedona. |
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