BUSH RETURNS
FROM WORKING VACATION
Begins vacation. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Latest Theory: Saddam Sent
Defectors to Trick U.S. Into
Thinking Iraq Had WMDs
So we'd invade, depose him, kill his
family. |
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Blair Testifies He'd Have
Resigned if Guilty of
Exaggerating WMD Evidence
Therefore, he claims, he must be innocent. |
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| MISCELLANEOUS |
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Study Ties Biggest CEO Raises to Largest
Layoffs, Most Underfunded Pension
Plans, Offshore Tax Avoidance
Simple case of merit pay, say companies. |
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100,000 Flock
to Wisconsin for
Harley-Davidson 100th
Anniversary
Week-long bike and beer
blast attended by four
Hells Angels, 99,996
accountants. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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“Black” or
Classified Defense Spending Soars to
$23.2 Billion
$10 billion for “this
and that,” $7.5
billion for “whatever,”
rest for “don't
ask.” |
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Harris Poll: California #1
Place
Americans Would Like to Live
Not polled: those who already
live there. |
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REMINDER
School is open, wear a bullet-
proof vest. |
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WorldCom Receives $1 Billion
“Sweetheart” Pentagon Contract
Will rebuild Iraq’s system of
accounting fraud. |
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Record High Gas Prices on
Labor Day Weekend
Due to “price gouging,” says
owner of Honest Ed’s gas station in
Pawtucket, Rhode Island. |
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| FACTOID |
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Cars, Trucks in U.S. Now
Outnumber Drivers
Explains growing number of empty vehicles
crashing into each other. |
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