| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
 |
 British
Study: Society Being
“Destroyed” by
Disrespectful Behavior
Public civility has
“all but
disappeared,” laments Cambridge
Professor H. Colton Langerfield
(above), who headed study. |
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| |
| SPORTS |
|
Kobe Bryant, Allen Iverson
Added to Olympic Basketball Team
Might help U.S. finish ahead of Slobovia. |
|
Baseball Milestone Expected
This Summer
Mid-July is when statisticians predict
we’ll witness baseball’s one
millionth crotch scratch. |
|
Land Speed Record Set
Three-mile course completed in just six
seconds by some asshole in a black BMW. |
| |
| LAW |
|
 Canadian
Parliament To Vote on
Decriminalizing Marijuana
Flag would require only
slight change. |
|
|
| NEW PRODUCTS |
 New Super
Wristwatch Does Almost
Everything!
Phone, fax, digital
camera, TV, AM-FM radio,
calculator, address book,
word processor, mp3
player, Internet
browser - and it fits on
your wrist! The only
thing it doesn’t do
is tell time. ($395,
Sharper Image). |
|
 "Food
Now" Instant Server
Is to traditional fast-food
outlets what the
cell phone is to the
old-fashioned rotary
dialer. Just plunk in a few
quarters and, faster than
you can say "Bill
Gates," the freshly
prepared entree of your
choice is in your hands,
no waiting, no actual
human beings to screw up
your order. This will
revolutionize the
fast-food industry! |
|
 Car
of the Future?
Sports coupe made entirely of cheddar
cheese “still in the concept stage,”
says spokesman for joint General Motors-Kraft
Foods project. |
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