| |
ARAFAT
ALLOWED TO KEEP HIS
"GUN"
As long as he doesn't
"point it" at
anyone. |
|
 |
|
| WORLD NEWS |
 |
Musharraf Wins in Pakistan
Trounces only opponent, listed as
"Check This Box and We'll Kill
You." |
|
China's Veep Hu Unknown in U.S.
But has longest listing in China's Who's
Hu. |
|
U.S. Makes Final Four in
Executions
China still favored to win championship;
Iran, Saudi Arabia round out semifinals. |
| |
| EDUCATION |
|
Bad News: Poor, Middle Class
Can't Afford College
Good news: college grads can't find jobs. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS |
 |
|
World's
Biggest, Smelliest Flower
Blossoms in London
Just in time for Mother's
Day. |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
Shadow Government Swings
Into Action
Creates Phantom Government in even deeper
underground bunkers "just in
case." |
|
House Votes to Split INS
Into Two Agencies
INS and OUTS. |
|
New Welfare Guidelines
Approved
Recipients must be married, independently
wealthy, and living in a gated community. |
| |
REMINDER
Somewhere
in the world there is
someone
just like you thinking
the
same
thing. |
|
|
| |
|
Undercover Federal Agents
Breeze Through Security in Atlanta Tests
"Don't worry," says
Ashcroft. "We know who they are and
where they live." |
|
Surveillance Cameras Becoming
Commonplace
Public reacts by wearing disguises,
having plastic surgery. |
 |
|
