| THE FIGHT
FOR FREEDOM |
| Profiles
of Our Allies: Saudi Arabia |
 |
Type of Government:
Absolute monarchy |
Leader: King Fahd ibn Abdel Aziz al-Saud |
Date Elected: N/A |
Opposition Political Parties: N/A |
Rights of Accused: N/A |
Genders Permitted to Drive: 1
(male) |
Favorite Spectator Sport: Public
beheadings |
# 1 Op-Ed Subject: "Why I
love King Fahd" |
# 2 Op-Ed Subject: N/A |
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| BUSINESS |
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Toys 'R Us Sues Anthrax 'R Us
Says biowarfare company infringes on
copyright. |
|
Americans Simplifying Lives,
Not Purchasing Frivolous Luxury Items
Retailers call trend a “recipe for
disaster.” |
|
Hosiery Industry
Doing Its Part
Unused material will
go to war effort. |
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| SCIENCE |
|
Snail Brain Cells, Silicon
Chip Combined to Create Electronic
Circuit
Result is extremely slow computer. |
|
New Airport Scanning Devices
See Right Through Clothes
Recruiting people to operate them has
been “remarkably easy.” |
|
Anne
Robinson Wins Nobel Prize in Physics
Helps create
Bose-Einstein condensate
by reducing room
temperature to almost
absolute zero. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Falwell: God Cancelled Emmy
Awards
Upset over choice of Ellen DeGeneres to
host. |
|
Due to Recent Events,
CBS's “Survivor” Changes
Name
Will now be known as “Shameless
Jerks Fighting Over Money.” |
| |
| CORRECTION |
|
In our story on last week's Fall Paris
Collection, the women in this photo were
misidentified as supermodels Elle
Macpherson, right, and Claudia Schiffer,
left. Ms Schiffer is, in fact, on the
right and Ms Macpherson on the left. |
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