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RICH NOT SPENDING
THEIR TAX REBATES
What
they're doing with
windfall still a mystery. |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
 |
Microsoft Buys U.S.
Government
Bush remains in post, but will report to
Steve Ballmer. |
|
U.S. Offers Reparations for
Slavery
African Americans to get "40
Acres and a Mule" charm bracelets
from Denny's. |
| |
| WORLD NEWS |
|
Taliban Office of Faith-Based
Charities Puts U.S. Missionaries on Trial
Example of how church and state can work
together. |
|
Revealed: Mother Teresa Had
Exorcism Performed on Her
Also had body waxing and foot massage. |
| |
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Pentagon Makes
Case for Increased Funding
Shortage of military vehicles
cited. |
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| GUEST COLUMNIST |
 MY TURN
by Dick Cheney
Rather
than release transcripts
of sensitive meetings
that were held in private
with my energy task
force, I've decided
to summarize, in general
terms and without naming
anyone, what went on at
those meetings. |
| First of all, I would
invite about four or five
of this country's
top authorities on energy
production into my office
and ask them to strip
down to their boxer
shorts (or, in the case
of one gentleman,
briefs). This way we
could relax and speak
frankly to each other.
Once everyone was
comfortable, I would dim
the lights and we'd
watch some X-rated
movies. |
| Later, we'd light up
cigars (I'm not
permitted to say where
they came from) and drink
some of that fine
Jefferson brandy (I know
where it's kept) and
fall asleep. |
| Just thought you'd
like to know. |
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