| BIOTECHNOLOGY |
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 Bush
Reconsiders Human Cloning Ban
Policy change follows
meeting with clones at Kennebunkport. |
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| RELIGION |
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New Translation of 7th
Commandment:
“Thou Shalt Not Commit
Idolatry” Adultery
apparently OK. |
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| TRAVEL |
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Incredible Airline Bargains
Now Available
If you're willing to stand
throughout flight, refrain from using
restroom, serve drinks. |
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| SPORTS |
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Knight Commission Calls for
50% of Student Athletes to Graduate
NCAA asks, “You mean from
college?” |
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| PEOPLE |
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TIN MAN
RECEIVES ARTIFICIAL HEART
Scarecrow gets diploma, Cowardly
Lion a medal. |
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| ART |
28,000-Year-Old Cave
Paintings Lack Originality, Focus
by Mr. Art
Forget technique - we're not even going
there - the reason why these clownish
efforts have been forgotten for 28,000
years is because they richly deserve to
be, and the sooner we start the next
28,000 years of forgetting, the better!
The Dordogne Doodler clearly couldn't
decide if he wanted to paint horses or
bison, which one to paint or which way it
was headed. As for the so-called erotic
images in the “adult” section
of the cave: hello, there is a difference
between eroticism and pornography!
If you want an excuse to visit France, go see
the Mona Lisa, and if you like caves, I
recommend Le Cave, an excellent
restaurant not far from the Louvre. |
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