POPE
TELLS CROWD: “YOU
ARE ALL CONDEMNED TO
ETERNAL DAMNATION”
Doesn't crack a
smile during annual April
Fools Day message. |
|
 |
|
| WORLD NEWS |
 |
President Urges Calm in Middle
East
Hopes it will remain quiet until he's out
of office. |
|
Euro Disney to Destroy All
Cloven-Hoofed Animals
Goofy being examined. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Customers Using Other Banks'
ATM's Hit with Rising Surcharges
Also, mild electric shocks. |
|
As Economy Worsens, Social
Security Trust Fund Managers
Seek New Solutions
Assisted suicide under review. |
| |
| ALSO IN THE NEWS . . . |
3.5 Million
Year-old Man May Be
Distant Cousin of Homo
Sapiens
Kenyanthropus
Platyops showed up at
family events, borrowed
money. |
|
 |
|
|
| U. S. NEWS |
|
Bush Says He Prefers
"Informal"
Press Conferences
Also multiple choice questions,
lifelines,
polling audience for help. |
|
High Court Takes Up Marijuana
Issue
Decision not expected for many, many
months. |
|
President Hits the Road
to Campaign for Tax Cut
Hopes to get large deduction for travel
expenses.
|
CENSUS
2000
Latest Figures Reveal New
Demographic Picture of California |
| Celebrities |
41% |
Extraterrestrials |
11% |
| Waiters |
23% |
Other |
6% |
| Personal
Trainers |
18% |
Don't Know |
1% |
|
 |
|
|
| |
| ENVIRONMENT |
 |
Bush: “We Need to Dig for Oil
in Wilderness Areas, National Parks”
More gas needed for summer trips to
wilderness areas, national parks. |
|
