PUNXSUTAWNEY
PHIL SEES SHADOW, PREDICTS 6 MORE
WEEKS OF WINTER
Also high unemployment, recession, war
in Middle East. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Barak, Arafat Stuck on UN Elevator
Three Hours, Reach Agreement
Both agree “they should fix that thing.” |
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Bin Laden Spotted at XFL Game
Seen leaving during halftime of
Hitmen-Outlaws contest. |
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 REMINDER
When eating cafeteria
food, always check for thumbs. |
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| ENTERTAINMENT |
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Fox Announces "Programming
Island"
Show will pit network executives
against rats. |
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Buñuel, Gide, Dali Shows in
the Works at Networks
"Surreality TV" a hedge against
reality shows losing appeal. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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Presidential Charm Offensive
Continues
Lawmakers get nicknames, noogies,
wedgies. |
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Johnnie Cochran Pleads for Puffy
“If the crime don't rhyme, you
must give no time.” |
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Bush Giving Religious
Groups More
Authority
Plans to turn Air Force over to
Hadassah. |
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Kennedys Watch "13
Days" with Bushes at White House
Later, Ashcroft stops by to watch “Birth
of a Nation.” |
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New First Lady Finds Thong
Stuck to Back of White House Dryer
Static electricity is to blame. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS |
Queen Mum Back at
Palace After Bungee Jumping
Mishap
Slight ankle
strain won't curb busy schedule. |
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