| TECHNOLOGY |
 |
 Mark Zuckerberg
Posts Selfie From Metaverse
His avatar has a delightful lunch near the
Eiffel Tower before a gang of avatar
pickpockets robs him of his imaginary
Rolex. |
|
|
 Scientists Develop
Furniture That Assembles Itself
After much cursing and swearing. |
|
|
Chess-Playing Robot Breaks
Boy's Finger During Match
Later apologizes, claims it was an accident. |
| |
| EDUCATION |
|
Missouri School District
Revives Paddling
Also dunce caps. |
|
Texas Requires “In God
We Trust” Signs in Schools
They must be displayed prominently,
next to the “How 'Bout Them
Cowboys” signs. |
|
| FEATURE |
 |
| How many pages of classified
documents did Donald Trump take
with him to Mar-a-Lago? |
| |
A ) |
300 |
|
| |
B ) |
400 |
|
| |
C ) |
500 |
|
| |
D ) |
600 |
|
| |
E ) |
700 |
|
| Hint: and counting. |
|
|
|
| |
| MISCELLANEOUS |
|
Teachers Earn Only $29 More
Per Week Than They Did in 1996
Very few hedge fund brokers have
switched to teaching. |
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 |
| |
California Bans Sales of Gas
Powered Vehicles by 2035
Shown: artist's rendering of freeway in
2035 with nothing but electric vehicles. |
|
