Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JAN 28 - FEB 3, 2013
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PEOPLE
Prince Harry Compares Shooting Taliban From Helicopter to Playing Video Games
After hours of blasting apart human beings you get bored and want to switch to Super Mario Bros.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Controversy Swirls Around Beyoncé Lip-Synching National Anthem at Inauguration
Nobody seems to care about Obama’s lip-synching inaugural address.
 
BUSINESS
Ex-Prosecutor Named to SEC
Financial sector criminals prepare to have wrists firmly slapped.
Apple Shares Plunge, ExxonMobil Now World's Most Valuable Company
ExxonMobil releases exPad, first tablet that runs on fossil fuel.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Bad News: Americans Facing
Obesity Crisis

Good news: we're poised to produce some seriously good sumo wrestlers.
 
SCIENCE
Scientists: It's Now Possible to Reintroduce Neanderthal DNA Into Gene Pool
To do jobs homo sapiens won't do.
Orangutans at National Zoo Using iPads
Find them much easier than typewriters.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Study: Pomegranate Juice
Usually Contains Little or
No Pomegranate Juice

But you didn’t really want any, did you?

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