Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 16 - 22, 2012
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PEOPLE
Gov. Christie: Americans “Sitting on a Couch Waiting for Their Next Government Check”
When they could be ordering pizza.
Putin Presents Cosmonaut With Ribbon for His Achievements
And for having most ribbons.
 
BUSINESS
Steve Jobs Key Figure in
Digital Price-Fixing Case

After cost-cutting by abusing Chinese workers, much-admired genius robbed consumers back home.
Nude Maid Service in Lubbock, Texas Approved by Authorities
Who have been using it for years.
SCIENCE
Study: Men Think About Sleep and Food as Much as Sex
Most of the time men think about whatever they're not getting enough of.
 
NASA Releases Photo of Elephant on Mars
Calls it “unsettling.”
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
New Claim: Sugar Addictive as Cocaine and Causes Cancer
But a spoonful of it helps the medicine go down.
Non-Drinkers More Likely to
Die of Heart Disease Than
Regular Drinkers

Slur that factoid to the designated driver on your next ride home.
Regular Eaters of Chocolate 4% Slimmer
They have fewer teeth.

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