Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APRIL 16 - 22, 2012
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MISCELLANEOUS
Charles Manson Paroled Due to Prison Overcrowding
Space needed for those convicted of possessing small amounts of marijuana.
 
EDUCATION
Tennessee Passes Law Encouraging Science Teachers to Challenge Evolution in Class
And tell students that those who believe in evolution end up in Hell.
 
SPORTS
Ozzie Guillen, Manager of Miamiís Florida Marlins, Says He Loves Fidel Castro
A pitcher who can hit.
Olympic Beach Volleyball: Women Can Wear Shorts Instead Of Bikinis at London Games
They just won't be seen in prime time.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Ingredient in Coke, Pepsi, Beer,
Liquor, Cookies, Chocolate Can
Cause Cancer

If you know someone who has consumed any of these foods, urge them to see a doctor at once.
Which of the following did Mitt Romney not say as he chatted amiably with Sean Hannity before an interview on Fox News?
A )That his wife prefers Austrian Warmbloods, which are “dressage” (pronounced “dress-a-a-ahge”) horses.
B )He himself prefers the smoother gait of his own Missouri Foxtrotter.
C )He considers himself an above-average yachtsman.
Hint: Mitt is a rather modest fellow, and would never brag about his skills as a helmsman.
 
FACTOID
Deadly Car Crashes Jump
Six Percent on Tax Day

Fortunately you can deduct half the car's value if you're not the guilty party and survive the crash.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
New Canadian Quarter Glows in Dark
Great for when you find yourself in Canada at night and there's nothing to do.

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