Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 12 - 18, 2009
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PEOPLE
Research Reveals First Lady's Great- Great-Great-
Grandfather Was White

New cousins “coming out of the woodwork,” says White House spokesperson.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Hollywood in Turmoil as
Studio Heads Roll

Geniuses brought in to replace idiots.
DeLay Leaving “Dancing With the Stars”
He'll join Kate on “Tom & Kate Plus Eight.”
 
BUSINESS
McDonald's Opens in the Louvre
Officially brings to close 500-year epoch of European cultural dominance.
Chinese Company Buys Hummer
Immediately announces “Year of the Pig” sale.
SCIENCE
Mini-Colosseum Uncovered in Rome
Archeologists believe it was used for more intimate gladiator fights.
Study: Hungry Men Sexually Attracted to Fatter Women
Advises single gals to eat like there's no tomorrow.
Archeologists Find Site Near Stonehenge
Believe it's some sort of gift shop.
 
Giant Dinosaur Footprints Discovered in France
And they're fresh.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Even Modest Exercise
Boosts Self-Image

Just stay away from mirrors.
APA Repudiates Gay-to-Straight Therapy
But says straight-to-gay is a-okay.

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