Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 11 - 17, 2008
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PEOPLE
Madonna Turns Fifty
Wannabes turn 40.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Hollywood May Turn to New
Source for Movies

Original ideas.
 
BUSINESS
Wal-Mart Issues Dire Warning to Workers About Democrats
Predicts Obama win would force them into psychologically confusing higher tax bracket.
Chrysler to Stop Leasing Cars
“Who wants a three-year-old Chrysler product?” explains spokesperson.
 
POLL
Who Would Win Today?
Paris Hilton 56%   John McCain 44%
Barack Obama 51%   John McCain 49%
John McCain 52%   Britney Spears 48%
SCIENCE
Study Suggests Dogs Have
Empathy for Humans

Most other animals think we're assholes.
 
Archeologists Unearth 1900-Year-Old Chariot in Bulgaria
Amazingly, it still runs.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Anti-Smoking Scientists Excited
By Success Turning Nicotine
Addiction On or Off

Tobacco companies even more excited.
Patient Reads Aloud to Surgeons During Brain Surgery
From Brain Surgery for Dummies.
 
CORRECTION
 
In a recent edition we inadvertently ran a picture of John McCain (left) with a story titled "Oldest Human Fossil Discovered in Spain." We meant to use the picture on the right. Sorry.

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