Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – OCTOBER 8 -14, 2007
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ENTERTAINMENT
Hollywood Braces for Crippling Writers Strike
Producers will generate scripts by hiring an infinite number of monkeys.
 
BUSINESS
Big Shift to Ethanol Having
An Impact on Consumers

Many Americans can no longer afford Fritos.
Dow Surges to New Record
We're all rich.
 
HIGH TECH
E-Mails Offering Nude Pics of Angelina Jolie Cause 80% of Computer Viruses
Other 20% caused by nude pics of Brad Pitt.
Computers That Read Minds in Development
And they don't like what they're reading.
SCIENCE
Ancient Floods Split Britain
From Europe Delaying
Migration 120,000 Years

That and the lousy food.
Study: Playing With Blocks Helps
Children Develop Language Skills

Like, “That’s my block.”
World Marks 50th Anniversary of Sputnik
And 49th anniversary of beatniks.
Scientist Uses Radio Frequencies
To Burn Salt Water

Hired by Halliburton, relocated to Uzbekistan, killed in hunting accident.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Americans Miss 1.3 Billion Days of Work Due to Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Social Phobia, Bi-Polar Disorder, Agoraphobia, Panic, Substance Abuse
And the playoffs.

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