Ironic Times

 NO. 263 "Expect the Ironic" SEPT 26 - OCT 2, 2005 

Sept 19
Oct 3
 
BUSH SAID TO BE DRINKING AGAIN
And hanging out with a bunch of losers.
WORLD NEWS
North Korea Agrees to Drop
Nuclear Weapons Program

In exchange for boxed set of Daffy Duck cartoons.
UN Report: Scotland
Most Violent Country

Blamed on Scots' constant exposure to plaid, bagpipes, haggis.
 
ENVIRONMENT
EPA Has Plan to Reduce
Toxic Pollution

Plan drops requirement that businesses report toxic pollution.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Pope Encourages Exorcists to “Keep Up the Good Work”
Has kind words for vampire slayers as well.
U. S. NEWS
Administration Launches Multi-
Billion Dollar War on Pornography

Disaster relief, war in Iraq “can wait,” says spokesman.
Commission Recommends National Photo ID for Voters
Passport, credit card, driver's license, country club membership card all OK.
DeLay Allegedly Involved in
Legal, Ethical Transaction

No further details available.
 
 
REMINDER
     It's every man for himself.
 
Pentagon Bars Testimony About Pre-9/11 Intel Identifying Hijackers
Could compromise security of Bush Administration.
Frist Sells All His Stock in
Family Company Before Poor
Earnings Report Released

"Just lucky," he quips.
 
EDUCATION
Princeton Cuts Number of A's
Given to Students Down to 41%

Hopes lower grades will produce a future president.
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