Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – MARCH 21 - 27, 2005
page two

PEOPLE
Bush Names New Goodwill Ambassador
Don “Mr. Warmth” Rickles will try to improve America's image “with all those hockey pucks” overseas.
 
SPORTS
Poll: Two-Thirds Think Steroid
Users' Records Invalid

Except for Most Steroids Injected, Most Valuable Syringe.
 
GOVERNMENT
CONGRESSIONAL SCHEDULE
March 17, 2005
8 AM:  Bankruptcy Bill Thank You Breakfast hosted by credit card lobbyists.
10 AM:  Strategy Session: How to Protect Tom DeLay from ethics investigation.
12 PM:  ANWR Bill Thank You Lunch hosted by oil lobbyists.
2 PM:  Strategy Session: How to Avoid Hearings on POW Torture, Murder.
3 PM:  Tort Reform Bill Thank You Cocktail Reception hosted by insurance lobbyists.
4 PM:  Lecture baseball stars on setting bad example for nation's youth.
FEATURE
Which ONE of the following international treaties has the United States NOT refused to sign, abrogated, or withdrawn from?
A )1997 International Landmine Ban.
B )Global Tobacco Control Treaty.
C )Kyoto Protocol.
D )1972 Anti-Ballistic Missile Treaty.
E )International Criminal Court.
F )Intergalactic Cosmic Ray and Black Hole Reduction Treaty.
G )Global Treaty to Curb Mercury Use.
H )International Convention on the Rights of the Child.
I )International Law of the Sea Convention.
 
ODDS 'N ENDS
Miss Inflatable Universe Pageant Gets Underway
Shown: last year's winner, Miss Inflatable Sweden, poses for photographers.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2005 Ironic Times