Ironic Times

 NO. 232 "Expect the Ironic" FEBRUARY 21 - 27, 2005 

Feb 14
Feb 28
 
BUSH SERIOUSLY INJURED SIGNING BILL LIMITING CLASS-ACTION LAWSUITS
Maker of ballpoint pen knew of dangerous defect but withheld information from public.
WORLD NEWS
Iraqi Prime Minister to Be
Chosen by Secret Ballot

Will govern anonymously from undisclosed
location.
Assaults Down 25%, Robberies
33% After Bach, Mozart Drive
Criminals From London Subways

Use of Wagner banned under Geneva Conventions.
 
FACTOID
Indian Casinos Pass Las Vegas
In Total Earnings

Nevada lawmakers begin rounding up a posse.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Robotic Terrier Wins at Westminster
Beats out cloned Cocker Spaniel for Best in Show.
U. S. NEWS
FDA Establishes Drug Safety Board
New panel will “create the impression we're taking this thing seriously,” says private memo.
Congress Raises Fines for
Broadcast Indecency

Hopes to quickly wipe out deficit, shore up Social Security.
Target Missile Passes Third
Straight Test

Easily evades advanced missile defense system, says Pentagon.
 
REMINDER
   Build a better mousetrap and the
   world will beat a path to buy you
   out and lay you off.
 
Clinton (5th), Bush (6th) Rated
Higher Than Washington (7th) in
Poll of Top Presidents

Proves it pays to lie and not admit it.
Everyone's Identity Stolen
Americans urged to wear name tags until further notice.
 
LAW
Court Rules Reporters Not
Protected by 1st Amendment
In White House Spy Outing Case

Must reveal source as Dick Cheney's Chief of Staff I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby or go to jail.
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