Ironic Times

 NO. 198 "Expect the Ironic" JUNE 28 - JULY 4, 2004 

June 21
July 5
 
STORMY WEEK FOR BUSH
Hes caught in tornado, whisked off to Oz.
WORLD NEWS
Poll: Iraqis Favor Strongman
To Lead Them

Someone like Saddam Hussein.
Saudis Take Hard Line
Against Terrorists

They're given one month to say they're sorry, “or else.”
Bush Promises Additional $20 Million To Help World Fight Against AIDS
Money still available from last time he promised to help world fight against AIDS.
U. S. NEWS
Economic Figures Revised Downward
Terror figures revised upward.
Supreme Court Rules in
Cheney's Favor

Decision follows sumptuous duck dinner.
New Home Sales Up, Durable
Goods Orders Down

More houses being built with straw.
48 Nobel Prize-Winning
Scientists Back Kerry

White House dismisses them as “bad scientists.”
Clinton Book Breaks Sales Record
Millions of women who slept with ex-president want to see if they're mentioned.
  Iraq Turnover Schedule, June 30, 2004
    1:00 PM: Pre-Turnover Special hosted by Dennis Miller
    2:00 PM: Donald Rumsfeld gives ceremonial prisoner leash to Iraqi Security Force
    3:00 PM: U.S.-Iraqi Glee Club sings “Proud to Be an American”
    4:00 PM: Iyad Allawi declares martial law
    4:30 PM: Jerry Falwell leads the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in “Onward Christian Soldiers”
    5:00 PM: Flag ceremony/Ann Coulter striptease, music by U.S. Marine Band
    6:00 PM: Civil war officially begins
 
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