Ironic Times

 NO. 197 "Expect the Ironic" JUNE 21 - 27, 2004  

June 14
June 28
 
BUSH HOSTS UNVEILING OF CLINTON PORTRAIT
Intends to display it prominently in small room “just off the Oval Office.”
 
WORLD NEWS
Afghanistan's President Thanks America
Opium sales “going through the roof,” Karzai tells Bush.
 
U. S. NEWS
9/11 Panel: Al Qaeda Had
Nothing to Do With Iraq

Until we invaded.
Administration Rescinds Policy
Cutting Food Stamps to Poor Who
Use Medicare Prescription Cards

After learning people were eating the cards.
Supreme Court Allows "Under God"
To Remain in Pledge

"I'm going to Disneyland," jokes God.
“Ramblin'” John Kerry Releases First Album
Middle-of-the-road lyrics support war, abortion; oppose tax cuts, gay marriage.
IRONIC TIMES FEATURE
Profile of Key Voter Block
On November 2nd, a relatively small group of swing voters, called "Persuadables" by experts, will decide the election. Here is how these voters describe themselves:
They go to church, but not as often as they should.
They read the newspaper, but not as frequently as they ought to.
They're faithful to their spouses, but not completely.
They vote, but not as consistently as they would like to.
They're not very familiar with the candidates, but hope to learn more sometime.
They pay their bills, but not always on time.
They don't cheat on their taxes, except now and then.
They'd like to learn more about the issues, but just don't have the time.
 
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