Ironic Times

 NO. 120 "Expect the Ironic" DEC 30, 2002 - JAN 5, 2003 

Dec 23
Jan 6
WORLD NEWS
 
  REASONS FOR GOING
TO WAR CHANGING

"Gut Feeling He's Got Nukes" down, "They Already Hate Us, What's to Lose?" up, "See if New Weapons Work" and "Oil" holding steady.
Cheney Nixes Deal to Allow Affordable Lifesaving Drugs in Africa
Claims drug companies are "tapped out" from campaign contributions, lobbying costs.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Sales of "Smiley Face" Buttons Lag in Third World
Retailers blame "pervasive pessimism" caused by widespread poverty, disease, starvation.
U. S. NEWS
Bush Optimistic as He
Looks Ahead to '03

With prospect of tax breaks for the wealthy and wars with Iraq and North Korea, things "couldn't be better."
10% of Prisoners Held in Guantanamo Not Guilty of Anything
"Whatever" says State Department.
 
REMINDER
   It might be a good time to clean out
   the old bomb shelter.
 
Raelian Bishop Claims
First Human Clone

Cult succeeded thanks to grant from White House Office of Faith-Based Charity.
Administration Plans to Tape Demonstrations
Hopes to identify citizens exercising their
right to peacefully assemble, and their ilk.
LAW
Candidates Emerging for Expected Vacancies on High Court
White House divided between backers of Charlton Heston and David Duke.
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