Ironic Times

 NO. 106 "Expect the Ironic" SEPTEMBER 23 - 29, 2002 

Sept 16
Sept 30
 
UNCLE SAM DETAINED NEAR WHITE HOUSE
Held overnight; later released on his own recognizance.
WORLD NEWS
Germany's Justice Minister
Compares Bush to Hitler

Later, she corrects herself, saying "Not that Hitler."
Iraq War to be Broadcast in HDTV
Retailers hope coverage will "move" more of the expensive, high-end sets.
 
WORDS IN THE NEWS
  terrorist 1. someone who uses force or threats to intimidate, esp. as a political strategy. 2. someone we don't like.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
First View of Area 51 Released
Photo, taken by interstellar scout from the planet LNV11214 in the Crab Nebula, shows several airstrips and suspicious-looking buildings.
U. S. NEWS
Bush Threatens Immediate
Action if UN Stalls

Tanks, troops surround UN headquarters in Manhattan.
Congressional Hearings Reveal
Major Intelligence Gaps

FBI, CIA totally unaware hearings are being held.
 
REMINDER
   You could have been somebody.
 
U.S. Students' Ability to Perform Simple Arithmetic is Slipping
Scores, tabulated by computer, could not be independently verified.
FTC Praises Quick-Money-Loss
Diet Plans

Claims they really work.
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ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
New President to be Chosen by TV Audience
Game show, on basic cable, will select next person to lead free world.
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