Ironic Times

 NO. 101 "Expect the Ironic" AUGUST 19 - 25, 2002 

Aug 12
Aug 26
 
BUSH POSES FOR HIS PLACE ON MT. RUSHMORE
Turns out to be a "Candid Camera" stunt.
WORLD NEWS
UN Report: Sea Levels Rising,
Forests Vanishing, 2 Billion
Face Water Shortage

But Colin Powell brokers deal to end New
York City-UN diplomat parking ticket crisis.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
New Study: Beer is Good for You
But pretzels can kill.
Fake Meat Made From
Fungus Causing Adverse
Reactions, Says Group

Just the thought of it making people sick.
 
BUSINESS
Tony the Tiger Opens NY Stock Exchange
Hopes to sugarcoat recent bad news.
Broker Who Pushed WorldCom, Global Crossing Resigns Amid Investigations
Victim of zero tolerance for corporate fraud gets only $13.2 million severance.
U. S. NEWS
More Signs of Weakening Dollar
Many state lotteries switching to the euro.
Moussaoui Hires New Team of Writers, Trial Postponed
Hopes to have script finished by early next year
Deadline Met: CEOs Vouch for Company Statements
Then it's off to Switzerland.
 
REMINDER
   People judge you by your drivers
   license photo.
 
Ashcroft's Operation TIPS
Already Paying Dividends

He learns his wife's been cheating on him.
Head of Florida's Child Welfare Agency Quits
She apologizes for failing to keep track of the governor's children.
President Responds to Pointed Criticism at Economic Summit
He'll start wearing fewer striped ties, more colorful shirts.
 
POLITICS
Split in Republican Ranks
Some want holy war with Islam, others want tax cuts for wealthy.
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   Copyright 2002 Ironic Times