Ironic Times

 NO. 90 "Expect the Ironic" JUNE 3 - 9, 2002 

May 27
June 10
 
CHENEY HAS ADVICE FOR POWELL
"Sell all your Halliburton," he tells him.
 
WORLD NEWS
Pakistan Conducts Third Missile Test
Declared a success when it veers off course and hits Bombay.
English Soccer Hooligans Arrive in Japan for World Cup
"It's the perfect time to visit England" says British Tourist Board.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Marines Tout Osprey's Versatility
Takes off like helicopter, crashes like airplane.
 
MONEY WATCH
Price of Gold at All-Time High
Good time to rob the rich, say experts.
U. S. NEWS
FBI Adds Big, New
Anti-Terrorist Office

Washington-based division will direct all regional efforts to decentralize bureau.
Consumer Confidence Up
Mainly due to increased sales of Botox, Viagra.
 
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"We were simply following generally
accepted accounting practices."
- Everybody     
 
Bill Would Require Adult Sites to
Switch From .com to .prn

Legislators hope to make surfing the net for porn easier.
Bush Announces Deal to Protect Florida's Natural Resource Treasures
From Democratic candidates this fall.
U.S. Productivity Hits 19-Year High
Gains fueled by stock manipulation, energy rip-offs, tax cheating, bank swindles, accounting fraud.
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