Ironic Times

NO. 67 "Expect the Ironic" DECEMBER 24 - 30, 2001

Dec 17
Dec 31
 
SANTA ARRESTED IN ENGLAND
Caught red-handed smuggling elves.
WORLD NEWS
Justice Dept.: American Taliban Won't Be Charged With Treason
He'll be charged with making an infuckingcredibly stupid career choice.
Argentina In Crisis: Peronists
Take Control

New musical planned.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Donner, Blitzen Call It Quits
Cite global warming, pollution, cancellation of ABM Treaty.
 
IRONIC TIMES EXCLUSIVE:
Bin Laden Spotted
in Paris

Al Queda leader, (right,) barely recognizable after plastic surgery.
U. S. NEWS
Bush Proclaims “Human Rights Week”
Anyone who doubts his commitment to human rights will face a military tribunal.
Cheney Sends Holiday Greetings
From Undisclosed Location

Encrypted message conceals clandestine wishes for unspecified recipients.
NRA Opposes Ban on Private Ownership of Biological Weapons
“If biological weapons are outlawed,” they claim, “only outlaws will have biological weapons.”
 
 
ODDS AND ENDS
Hollywood A-List Abolished
Everybody now on B-List.
Sock Supposedly Lost 30
Years Ago Is Found

“Now, if I can just find the other one,” grumbles Ed Sowicki of Deerfield, Mass.
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  Copyright 2001 Ironic Times