Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - SEPTEMBER 10 - 16, 2001
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PICTURE OF THE WEEK
 
SENATORS GATHER TO BID SAD FAREWELL TO PHIL GRAMM
 
PUBLISHING
U.S. News & World Report is 47th in College Rankings of News Magazines
Finishes just behind Embalming Week.
 
TRENDS
Futurists Say Cashless Society
Just Around the Corner

Unemployed say it's already here.
 
RELIGION
Vatican's First Space Probe Launched
Pius-XII rocket successfully sends cargo of “sensitive WWII documents” into permanent orbit.
ASK JESUS
Q: Is it proper for a rich man who runs a large company to award himself a huge bonus while at the same time laying off thousands of employees?
A: Who are you talking about, Michael Eisner? No, it's not proper, it's dead wrong for him or any of these multi-millionaire moguls to profit at the expense of others. To hell with them all, and I'm not kidding.
Q: Is it fair to blame President Bush for our current economic slump?
A: He's the shmuck who wiped out the surplus with his cockamamie tax cut, isn't he? Of course you can blame the faith-based Bozo.
Q: Can a person really walk on water?
A: Look, if everyone could walk on water, then what am I? Actually, they make these lightweight styrofoam shoes now that do the trick, but they're difficult to master.

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