Ironic Times

NO. 16 "Expect the Ironic" JANUARY 1 - 7, 2001

Dec 25
Jan 8
BUSH NOMINEE RUNS INTO TROUBLE
Choice to head the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms is detained by authorities in Massachusetts.
WORLD NEWS
New Millennium Begins Just
Like Last One
American President Bush, Byzantine Emperor Basil II both conservative rulers.
India, Pakistan Voted Most Likely to Start a Major War This Year
Israel, Palestinians are runners-up.
 
U. S. NEWS
Bush: "Not Your Father's Presidency"
But looming recession suggests otherwise.
Christine Todd Whitman Injured in Cabinet Hazing Incident
Pledge night mishap will be investigated by Inter-Fraternity Council.
U.S. Army Requests New Weapons to Counter Potential Threat from U.S. Navy
No other military menace seen.
 
GUEST COLUMNIST
 
  As my second term in office nears an end, I’ve had time to reflect on both the high points and the low points of the past eight years. Certainly, the lowest point of my presidency came when I was impeached and nearly removed from office for having an affair with a young White House intern, Monica Lewinsky. The country was put through a horrible ordeal it should never have had to go through, and for that I am deeply sorry. The high point? That would have to be those exhilarating moments of ecstasy in the small room off the Oval Office with that babe-a-licious Ms. Lewinsky, whose lips and milky white breasts kept me aroused for hours. Let me tell you, it doesn’t get much better than that. However, it’s time to say goodbye to the White House and to all the wonderful people we’ve had the pleasure to meet over the past eight years. Thank you, and God bless.
 
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