Ironic Times

NO. 17 "Expect the Ironic" JANUARY 8 - 14, 2001

Jan 1
Jan 15
AL GORE SAYS GOODBYE TO WASHINGTON
And he's sorry he ever got into politics.
WORLD NEWS
Millennium Starts Next
Year, Say Some

Century really begins in 2002, insist Odd Fellows.
 
RELIGION
God Put Holiest Shrines of 3 Religions in Same Place as Joke, Scrolls Reveal
Prank done when He was a teenager.
 
WEATHER
Southern California Braces
for Light Breeze

Wind chill factor in low to mid-60's predicted.
HOW COLD WAS IT LAST WEEK?
It was so cold Palestinian men wore woolen ski masks.
U. S. NEWS
President-Elect Injured in
Chug-a-Lug Contest

Only a chipped tooth says spokesperson.
Bush: Won't Go Back
on Campaign Promises
Will follow through on tax cut for oil companies, baseball teams.
 
SCIENCE
Campaign Finance Loophole Bill
Moves Through Congress Faster
Than Speed of Light
Measure approved in Senate slightly before it is introduced, confounding known laws of physics.
 
REMINDER
If you're going outside, wear a sweater.
 
LIFESTYLE
U.S. Soon to Be Nation of Shut-ins
Home food delivery, digital movies-on- demand threaten last good reason to leave the house.
 
SPORTS
5th-Year Freshmen Ruled Ineligible
Student-athletes must have at least completed pre-kindergarten, says NCAA.
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times